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Lady Bow
19 September 2017 @ 09:08 am
Ugh. I hate it when you tell yourself you need to carve out some time for a chapter, because you REALLY want to get into it, but in the first few days of the work week you are either torn away from it or exhausted before you can get to it, and then you just throw up your hands like "okay I'll wait until the weekend." That puts so much pressure on the weekend, for one. For two, it's when people think you're "available" so why do you want to hole up at home? For three, that's when I try to cram in other things. Ugh it just doesn't work out. I wish we were like Denmark, or wherever the fuck it is, where people have a 32hr work week. Four days.

I really wanted to try a four day work week, but I don't have the finances. I found out I was spending more than I was making, so I tried to be frugal, cancelled my Elements membership, and then found out that our rent had risen $110. Fuck. You.

People need more free time than this. I haven't even been on vacation for two years. I requested off the 30th and Oct. 1st so I could have a four day weekend but that's probably not even going to make a dent in all the time I wish I could have to recover from smiling at strangers instead of working on something meaningful. Fuck customers, by the way. XD Somehow I got hired at a store that calls itself "the friendliest in town", that is our motto, in fact I was given advice in my first review to try to initiate social interaction with customers more often instead of waiting for them to talk to me. Hah! Yeah, no, I'm gonna wait, because I'd rather they didn't talk to me. That's who I am, suckers. You hired it, I do my job... introverts are as vital a part of society as extroverts. YOU do the talking. I'll get shit done in the background, huh?

I'm not sure why this is such a bitchy entry. It might be that I just am irritated I was off by 3pm yesterday and no amount of coffee got me revved up to get anywhere with ch.17. That was the plan before I was off. Then when I got here I stretched in front of the TV for a while, went to my room to prep for writing, and then started having gastritis symptoms and fell asleep by 8:30.

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Surely, there are writing fairies out there who can spirit me away to a cabin in the mountains and leave some changeling in my place. That's where I want to be. In a sprawling master bedroom with glass walls facing the snow. In the center of a king size bed, I'll be set up all cozy with my laptop, sketch folder, and a tray of coffee and donuts. Every surface in the room will have a candle.

Ope, looks like I'll just have to leave that thought suspended.

Goodbye.
 
 
Lady Bow
07 August 2017 @ 10:44 am
When you're a procrastinator like me, who also gets tossed around by life's crap, you can never actually expect to get where you want. So to be able to announce today that all the heavy rewriting for your novel is done is pretty damn fantastic! Done!

Perfect? Well... It's come a long way. Still has room to be tweaked. But everything is there to be tweaked!

I'm having a little bit of trouble adulting right now, so this silly schedule they gave me all week (11:30am-7:30pm) only leaves room for me to wake up late, go to work, and cram in errands and self-care. However, I will try to dig my hands into the pot of events I've copy-pasta'd from draft one into two "CH15" and "CH16" documents. I've got the clay, now I mold it!

The superfluous stuff will be pruned out, what worked in those events will be kept and expanded upon with my new notes, and a few settings will be changed. Unlike in the first draft, the theater is off limits for a little while. As he put it to Giry, some things got stirred up there that can't be immediately settled. So yeah, he has to actually avoid it, try to get Lily to meet him other places. It's gonna be a little awkward, I think! Especially awkward because the next time Lily sees him, he has promised to explain how he knows her, and this scene won't be guarded and passive the way he was in the first draft. It seemed appropriate to nod to Leroux's scene in which Erik admits he's not the Angel of Music. Soooo!... yeah

It's gonna be quite something, to get into that... Looking forward to it, probably going to act it out a little, so I'm not missing any of the more subtle emotional shifts as certain things are said. Sometimes one character hears something, has a small physical reaction to it, and that has a domino effect. The first character picks up on it, maybe changes course, maybe backs out of what they were saying, has to be re-engaged, learns something they weren't expecting. The list goes on and on.

Well, there goes my morning. Already. ugh Such a stupid schedule, right in the smack-motherfucking-dab middle of the day. ugh Also it's hot and I have my period.

*blows raspberry* This day can go fuck itself, already.
 
 
Lady Bow
17 July 2017 @ 10:04 am
What a completely unpleasant surprise to come back and see that my journal layout has been distorted/ruined by giant advertisements. Seriously, what the hell, LJ? I've been using this site for over ten years and your ads were never so imposing. Once again, you've made yourself worse instead of better. Will you be surprised when no one goes here anymore? Now I can't even link my journal to outsiders without looking like a fool who doesn't have her layout in order.

Also, a big Fuck You to Photobucket, another site I have used for over a decade that was always simple and fair and now apparently charges FOUR HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS just to embed images into other websites. Again, I have been relying on PB to host my pictures since I was 15, there are at least a thousand photos on my account that I now have to sort through and reupload to some other site that's not going to be a dick about it.

So yeah, sorry everything's a mess right now? Maybe if I fork out some more money I can figure it out, which I totally have now that my rent, car insurance, and comcast package have all been hiked. The world we live in is so disgustingly greedy.

Well, for the time being, Open Office is still a free program, so I can write to my leisure, at least? pff.

He's There has made a bit of progress. I keep going back a chapter to fix stuff, having second thoughts about small choices made, just in general overthinking whether I have an effective sequence of events. BUT, people want updates, so they give me a reason to stop wallowing in what I've got and push forward. I'm really coming to a threshold, too, one I should be excited about. Chapter 14 (the next one I will work on, which is started too) will be the last chapter that I totally write from scratch. I think. Well, at least, there's about to be a lot of structural choices made in draft one that I can refer to so that I'm not having to work so hard on that. I can focus on improving the scenes that were there, and adding a few big things that were introduced prior to them and kind of back-burnered. Sometimes, I think draft one's problem was that it would build drama and then just drop it, or let it kind of float around. Everything should have been snow-balling, otherwise it makes Lily look more like a fool than a girl who's faced with too much to handle, ideologically and emotionally, and makes mistakes from the pressure.

Ugh, even thinking about it gives me anxiety. I actually spend a lot of time feeling anxious that I'm not going to get things right. Or I'm going to forget about something that would have been a really moving, effective aspect to a relationship or a situation, and I won't know how to fit it in when I go back. I've already done that with the second draft, or I realized that something was too intense to go in yet, so I had to hold off on it.

One of the big differences between the second arc (which I'm now finishing) and the third is that the second is all about subtlety and nuance, while the third is full of confessions and discoveries that shed light on what the second arc was hinting at without it being appropriate to lay out on the table. But then it also raises new questions and higher stakes. It doesn't help Lily or the reader actually feel they're standing on more stable ground. It's getting shakier, the more truth you pile on. Lily invites this by the end of the second arc. She thought things were one way when they weren't, and "Erik" busted her for this while he was making her jump through a ton of hoops to prove he could be more honest with her.

Also, you know what's interesting about the second draft is that I've had to have Paulina be a lot more aware of what's wrong about her relationship with "Erik", whereas in draft one I kind of stupidly had her being supportive when someone as socially savvy and romantically experienced as her should have known better. I've now switched things so that it's actually Mariam that's kind of tone-deaf about these things, and distracted. It really takes this upcoming conflict, which Lily puts behind her but which the Giry girls think is a giant red flag, for Mariam to start feeling resentment towards "Erik" and inward paranoia about him. She's going to start being a bit passive aggressive; she won't have the energy to joke as much about him, and then it'll all fizz over when Lily starts drifting from her in order to be there for "Erik".

Oy. All this time thinking about it instead of writing it, and I don't have a lot of time to spare to begin with. Well, I suppose every now and then it's good to get stuff out of your head.

Thanks, to anyone who still reads...
 
 
Lady Bow
15 January 2017 @ 10:13 pm
If my body wasn't having a migraine marathon the past few days, I probably would have devoured half the Yu Yu Hakusho manga by now, because I downloaded some of it onto my Kindle and not only is it adorable, but the anime is adorable, and sassy, charming, unique, and interesting on so many levels. catches breath I watched this show as a young teenager (13-14) and a lot of what makes it so rich went over my head, I think. All it took was a little nostalgic feeling about it and I went and downloaded the whole thing, then couldn't stop watching. It kind of consumed me! I stopped writing just so I could keep up with it, and then I got to fanart, then to an aesthetic blog for Kurama, and even a few are encouraging me to cosplay, but I'm not so sure about that yet. The fandom at tumblr, I'm being careful about that since people ruin everything, but there have been some truly HILARIOUS blogs that made that fuzzy feeling for this show grow by ten-fold. Namely, yuyufashion and askdrunkyyh. Stuff that doesn't get too serious, y'know?

KKH - Dead Man
This is fanart of Kurama and Karasu's fight, which was... creepy in all the right ways. ;D


Needless to say, I fell in love with Kurama again. But to my shock, I also feel in love (in a more platonic way) with KUWABARA, CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT.



I wrote some less than savory things about him in the past, but it must have been because I was a shallow fucking numbskull, because he. is. just. delightful. I legit think he's a stand-up gent and he's made me laugh so hard I cried. TBH I even love his fucking voice now - I think he's great at whining and freaking out, and also sounding like he's in pain ;O; which makes me sad because I don't want poor lil Kuwa hurting and would hug him if I was there. :(((( lol Listen to me, I'm ridiculous. No, but back to Kurama: yeah, it doesn't even matter if he's canonically 15-18yrs old, the very concept of him in my head is an impossibly beautiful older man who constantly speaks in a bedroom-voice and HAS A WHIP AS HIS MAIN WEAPON.



I'VE BEEN A BAD GIRL, KURAMA.

This is kind of weird, but after starting an aesthetic blog for him, I've realized I love rose-gold. If I could afford it, I'd buy rose-gold shoes and a fancy ipod case and you-name-it.

Oh, right, right, I'm supposed to be rewriting a novel. Well, it was going well where I left off. Before I was distracted. Heheh. Even got some comments on the Google Drive docs, and I had some sweet conversations with a handful of readers I didn't even know before. So that was lovely. When I'm back to posting and can FOCUS... which should be very soon if I know what's good for me... then perhaps I can reengage with them about the material thus far. There hasn't been much feedback for ch6-10 yet, and that stuff I'm DYIN' to hear about since it was recently spruced up with the DESPERATE HOPE IT WAS MORE EFFECTIVE THAN LAST TIME, GHUUU.

No Yu Yu Hakusho, Jennifer. Little by little, at the most. It's not going anywhere. ;D

Well there's a PB&J callin' my name.

All of you, behave.

♥, J
 
 
Current Mood: hornyhorny
 
 
Lady Bow
03 January 2017 @ 10:49 am

I think I will need to buy:

- A bunch of LUSH products
- Almond M&M's ✓
- A decent-sized Himalayan salt lamp
- Moar plain-scented tealights ✓

So I can get back into the groooove! The magnificent groove I was in last January that had me so happy I'm thinking of it even now with a wistful little grin on my face as I sit by the heater with my coffee.

For some reason, I'm working a 6-day week, but maybe after work tonight I will go by the store and at least get three of these... then hit LUSH online. ahaha I would have writing marathons in the bathtub! Bring in candy and wine, candles, and bubble bars, and just kick it.

I'm happy to say that I want and could be able to do that again, during this very special time of year, after what I've been through. Sometimes there has been a pattern, where one year is great creatively and the next sucks. Not even sure how to count 2016, since some of it was so good and some of it was so bad. Maybe it evens out to average? xD No... I think it tips the scale over to the good side. After the summer, I picked myself up and went so far with J that I'm really proud of myself.

Yesterday, someone on tumblr said they missed me through pm, "please come back!" DDDD:

On that note, I think I have to sneak a make-up session in, take some photos and do some chapsnatz. I'm itching to do it, and I bet my followers would enjoy it too. It's just, where do I fit Orlok in? It'd be glorious to try my new makeup stuff on him and do a little video like the good ole days.

AHHH, Nosferatu in Love! What will become of that?! It was such a huge thing, born so suddenly that there was no way to make room for it. Like an unexpected child! And I have it, and I turn to the father, and I'm like "shit. We don't have any money. We'll have to stay at your parents'! What about its college fund?! What about diapers!" Luckily, unlike a child, I could put NIL to bed and never wake it up until I felt like it. lol So it's been in a slumber for what, 3-4 years? (Is there room, this year, for Script Frenzy? Do I want to wake it up?)

Guess it depends what gets done with HT. I'm optimistic, though. Recently, I've been tossing around the idea of keeping off the internet for extended periods of time so I can build my focus. There have been times in the past when I'd spend a couple hours without checking a thing, and I was so much more mindful of what I was doing while I was doing it. It was more rewarding, to read, to listen to a podcast, to lie there absorbing it. Your senses are sharper. I smelled my candles better, I tasted and appreciated my food more. Isn't that weird? There was more peace in my life; I was more content when I had to leave the house; I felt time had been used meaningfully.

Now that I'm not super sick, that mindfulness could take me far with storytelling... if I can just work myself up to being off the internet. lol It always seems like it's going to blow, depriving yourself of your online shit, but then as soon as you're in that moment, thinking to yourself "what do I do now", you have to come up with something that means enough that you won't even think of caving in to instant gratification. Like, "okay, I'm offline. What do I do? I know. I'll work on that painting that I've wanted to do for weeks and just didn't start because tumblr."

I can already think of a list of things I could do. ahaha

❉ Watch more Yu Yu Hakusho xD
❉ Paint Kurama because he is beautifffulll
❉ Catch up on Sam Harris' podcast
❉ Mend two of my pillows that opened up at the seams
❉ Unpack some of my Christmas gifts
❉ Yoga / Meditation
❉ Ohh, you know, writing HT

Okay, I gotta go hurry off to work. Bye.
-J

 
 
 
Lady Bow

...which makes it ironic that I started the year talking about how even the look of those numbers felt promising to me. The prospect of having my novel completely revised and seeking publication by now was tangible... then I was literally and figuratively knocked off my path by two rear-end car accidents. I even had a dream last night that it happened again. I still have daily stomach issues because of gastritis, an illness often caused by extreme stress, which you can bet those accidents gave me. For months I couldn't accomplish a thing because I was in bed, in toe-curling pain. I couldn't get out of my body and imagine other worlds. It's regrettable, but there is still a positive side.

Getting sick forced me to have to take care of myself in ways I had been putting off. It forced me to have to "take out the trash". When I realized work didn't have my back, I quit. I got a new job that wants me to be okay and is very low stress. It's not anything I have to fume about once I'm home, that's for sure. I've met some new people I hit it off with, and guess what else?

One of them is a writer, with connections, who used to read manuscripts for a publishing company. I can tell she knows a lot, and she wants to help me! Once I have a manuscript ready, she has offered to read it -- again, she used to be paid to do this, but she wants to do it for me for free! AAAH!!! Of course I'm nervous, because she made sure to tell me she would offer criticism and I should be ready for it, but honestly, I am more than ready. With criticism comes insight into what it is I'm trying to do. It's actually very flattering when someone spends enough time trying to figure that out. At least, that is what genuine, sincere criticism is. It should make you feel that someone is in your corner, pep-talking you. One of my favorite pieces of feedback is still the lengthy email full of suggestions and observations that cloudsinvenice & R put together.

On that note, I should post it - it was lovely!

Anyhoo, what did I accomplish this year?

☆彡 Five full chapters of HT's rewrite, plus 2 1/2 that are on the way.
☆彡 What is now a 6pg story going nowhere about Jenna and I's fantasy realm
☆彡 Some paintings & concept art
☆彡 A really EPIC Jared Leto Joker cosplay

☆彡 A blog for that cosplay with 500+ followers

I mean, considering how sick I was, it's nice to say I've done those things. I really loved my blog, too. It was a journey and I got to learn more about costumes and makeup, and share what I learned with others. Maybe it turned out the Suicide Squad fandom went sour, but they can't come between me and the material. I try to see it that way. ;D

New Years resolutions... man... do I even want to remember what they were for this year? I probably didn't accomplish them.

Honestly, what I want (what I always want) is to have a draft of this manuscript I can finally submit and a website that corresponds. That's the dream. And I'd like to be happy painting, be happy doing more cosplay maybe. I'd like to take my J out into the real world and do photos. First, I'll just have to make some friends? lol I don't want to have any strict goals besides this novel, though, because it's more important I finish it than anything else. Rather go far with one thing that could start my career than make little bits of progress with all kinds of inconsequential things, like AIW fanfiction, which I'm sure I'll do sometimes for fun, but I'd never push myself. Not when time and energy is so precious. (Funny enough, doing silly side writing has helped me unlock my brain when I get stuck on parts of HT. I'll write for a bit about all of us arguing with Charles Dodgson and suddenly be able to ride through a HT scene that I wasn't finding the inspiration for.)

Okay, 2017. Get yo' ass over here.



 
 
Current Mood: tiredtired
 
 
Lady Bow
16 December 2016 @ 10:38 am
So no one's here reading this, and I did myself the favor of deleting the "new friends" I made earlier this year who weren't ever responding or writing anything interesting. :) I guess LJ will just continue to be dead and hopeless. lol And yet here I am.

I did some spontaneous, new things recently, though. I made all my final chapters public here, put them under one tag, and linked them on the FB page. A couple new readers were able to read them. Since so much of it still needs fixing, it hasn't made me feel things are so worth protecting anymore. Rather get feedback so when it's changed (which it will be) it's changed for the better. Also, I made a Google Drive folder, which is kind of exciting, since that program is better at bringing people together around work like this and allowing for quick and easy commenting. People won't have to leave polished reviews anymore; they can just make remarks anywhere they think of one.

Surprisingly, a few new people came out of the woodwork when I started posting about this. I even got a super sweet message from someone who quote-unquote "tore through the first draft" and shall have "a special place for HT on the bookshelf". They had been in an abusive thing until recently so they related to later chapters and were even praising Mariam and Paulina for having character arcs that responded to abuse.

Oh, how my heart swells! I love hearing stuff like that. That's the kind of book I want to publish: the page-turner you bring out to dinner because you have to read it under the table. The one that brings about all the feelz.

I think all you have to go by to create a page-turner is to write what would make you turn the pages yourself, and that is what I do, so I will just keep on doing it. The story holds interest for me, too. I have a lot of outside imaginings that don't fit in the plot just because the characters feel real enough, and interesting enough. They can't be objectively interesting to everyone, but you know what I mean.

Fun anecdote: my friend Lian, who used to spork all of my other friend Julia/Sephirothslave's fanfictions (which should give you an indication how different in temperament we are) said she couldn't relate to Lily. She would have preferred the story center around a character like Mariam. I wasn't bothered by it, though. That's okay with me. I love Mariam, and she never gets enough acknowledgement as far as I'm concerned! Much of my feedback throughout the years has been about how readers feel Lily represents them, and I hold fast to that because I think people like her are more in need of being represented. Her counterpart, Christine, is among the characters in classic literature that are always steamrolled because of their eccentrics and introversion, too. She wasn't even given any chapters in her POV in the novel, despite being the second most important character! The main reason for that would seem to be that Leroux was writing a mystery novel and needed to keep characters who knew too much at a distance, but it still ended up hurting her a lot, with regards to how much respect she was given as a female protagonist going through SHIT NO ONE ELSE COULD IMAGINE. So yes, Mariam is a likable, spunky girl with clearer, more nonnegotiable boundaries, and an ability to cut through bullshit. She is a good role model. But does she need to be represented? I think the people who relate more to her will do just fine without it.

And, you know, this is just my opinion -- don't tell her ;) -- but I think Mariam needs just a little bit of sensitivity lessons. She relies too much on the theory of things and not enough on her empathy for unique circumstances. It is why she pushes Lily away, which is quite harmful, despite that she cares.

Well, it is a snow day but not snowy enough that I can stay home. I was convinced that it's clear enough past the icy parking lot, so I will be venturing out... TBH I'd rather stay home and write, as I've been doing the past two days for hours and hours at a time, so I'm not much looking forward to a slow-as-fuck day serving people woks and burritos. Hopefully there's something on the social front to make my 8hr shift go by faster.

:/
J

P.S. Anyone seen these candles before? { x } I'm tickled by the themes of the scents! "Headmaster's Office"! "Mad Tea Party"! "Gatsby's Mansion"! "Reading at the Cafe"! I might have to get one. They seem the kind of thing that would help you get some writing done. ;)
 
 
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
 
 
Lady Bow
12 December 2016 @ 05:04 pm
I'm happy to say that my "rewrite of rewrites" is majority finished today! There are three shorter chapters thst mske a lot more sense, instead of two long ones with incredulous stuff happening and ineffective scene sequences. I think they now pack more of a punch. In fact, they make me have to go back to earlier chapters so that the strength of themes is as evident as they were here. So yay!

In order to make progress, I skipped the last day of class today. I took it for fun and of ended up being more of a nag, so I just said "screw it". It was a choice between spreading myself too thin and feeling exhausted, unaccomplished, and frustrated, or getting something done that matters to me and powering through the rest of the dsy feeling good about myself. So I chose the latter!

Work is super exhausting, too, so the fact what has gotten done is done is pretty remarkable. I get to move on to more provocative material, too. ;)

Well, I'm at work on by my first break. Gotta get back to it.
 
 
Lady Bow
05 October 2016 @ 05:10 pm
I called a wig shop for the first time in my life and talked about a certain green, slicked back lace-front wig I might need.

Class is going well. Haven't made friends but enjoy the experience nonetheless. We read Waiting for Godot.

There's a couple new guys at work who are cute. Not that it matters.

I accidentally seduced one of my mom's coworkers just by coming in to say hi to her. He was cute too, but men are evil so fuck that.

I bought fabric markers at Michaels!

There are many delicious foods in the fridge that I CAN ACTUALLY EAT. WE EVEN GOT TERIYAKI THE OTHER DAY. AND I HAD PIZZA AT WORK. NO PAIN AT ALL.

Kitchen Orlok has been on the bar top for eight months now, and for the past two weeks he has been sitting, pondering life's greatest questions.

Willie gave me his first hug ever. He'll be two on the 31st. He's annoying but also adorable, if that makes any sense.

THE WEATHER IS GLORIOUSLY FALL-ISH AND I GET TO WEAR CUTE JACKETS.

Just learned today that Suicide Squad the Extended Cut with the scenes they took out of Joker & Harley will be released next month, so everybody, including myself, is freaking out about that!

I'm wanting to do SS fanfic, and HT painting again. We'll see if I can fit that in.

I HAVE A MASSAGE APPOINTMENT ON SATURDAY EVENING, my first in monthsss because I was worried I was too sick to be able to lie down in a public place for that long without getting uncomfortable.

I miss Lynn, the lady who does my facials. I need more cleanser that she sells, so I want to use that as an excuse to go and visit her and have tea, hopefully. :)

And Tarot. I miss Tarot and magick and want to put together a fun little spell.

♥,
J
Tags:
 
 
Current Mood: hyperhyper
 
 
Lady Bow
28 September 2016 @ 08:04 am
I must admit that I'm very behind with my friends list here, but will go on posting anyway. The funny thing about LJ is that one can love it and love being in the habit of engaging with it, but it's also daunting because of the effort and time that goes into doing just that. My only way of getting back to journaling like I want to right now is to ease in, so I start with actually documenting my life, then I will get back to keeping up with all of yours!

This certainly can't be true, and after being tested numerous times I know it isn't, but sometimes in these last few weeks I have felt that I could skip my antidepressants and feel just fine. Still, I wonder how easy it would be to find an article backing the concept that being consistently creative and satisfied with what you create releases those chemicals that us depressed folk are so lacking most of the time. Having something to work on and obsess about sort of affects my whole day, too -- I mean I was a rockstar at work yesterday. I keep getting complimented for putting in my all and having a good attitude. I don't like when people mind my attitude, but it's still nice to hear that it's good vs. that it's too bitchy (which I have heard back when I was deep in health issues and not being acknowledged for that...) I get things done a little more often. I fold my mother's laundry since she hates doing it.

I'm in this weird little standstill at the moment, though. All on the same day, a bunch of important things for my cosplay came together -- three people I had been waiting on for items I couldn't find anywhere else wrote back to me!!! - and now I'm waiting for them to either be produced or shipped. I finally found the perfect shoes, but they're needing to be sent from China. I found a good tuxedo shirt, but it runs so small that the one I got didn't fit so we've been in the process of exchanging. I found the closest possible vest to Joker's but the man is taking his time to ship it out. The bow tie shop on Etsy somehow never received my first message but has now gotten all my information about a custom order and will start on it soon. I forked over $200 for a replica cane that will take 3-4 weeks.

So now I'm just waiting for all these awesome things to arrive in the mail, meanwhile struggling to figure out how to overcome the biggest problems with my cosplay: how I'm going to hide my hair, whether there's a quality and accurate wig I can purchase after all, and how I'm going to hide my eyebrows effectively. So far the way that I do it looks like crap in person. Liquid latex is on its way; I'm gonna try that soon. Also, I have a wig shop lead.

I must say, I feel weird focusing so intently on this with the year heading towards its final months, a time when I thought my second draft of HT would be finished. When glancing at Sierra Boggess' instagram, which I have neglected to keep up with, I also see that I could be using it as motivation right now, if only I had the drive and vision to keep writing. She has moved to Paris. She is learning French, learning the musical in French. The woman's fearless and has poured so much of her life into playing Christine, and now there she is soaking up the story in the language it was written, in the language the characters spoke it in. It's pretty cool.

Yeah... I don't know what to do. Maybe when I get home from school today I will go marinate in all her posts and try to find that special trigger that gets me back. It was her that started all the writing earlier this year: maybe she can do it for me again. ;)

But yes! School! I GO TO SCHOOL AGAIN NOW. Gotta blowdry my hair and get out of here!

♥,
J