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28 September 2016 @ 08:04 am
Oh hai, girlfranz  
I must admit that I'm very behind with my friends list here, but will go on posting anyway. The funny thing about LJ is that one can love it and love being in the habit of engaging with it, but it's also daunting because of the effort and time that goes into doing just that. My only way of getting back to journaling like I want to right now is to ease in, so I start with actually documenting my life, then I will get back to keeping up with all of yours!

This certainly can't be true, and after being tested numerous times I know it isn't, but sometimes in these last few weeks I have felt that I could skip my antidepressants and feel just fine. Still, I wonder how easy it would be to find an article backing the concept that being consistently creative and satisfied with what you create releases those chemicals that us depressed folk are so lacking most of the time. Having something to work on and obsess about sort of affects my whole day, too -- I mean I was a rockstar at work yesterday. I keep getting complimented for putting in my all and having a good attitude. I don't like when people mind my attitude, but it's still nice to hear that it's good vs. that it's too bitchy (which I have heard back when I was deep in health issues and not being acknowledged for that...) I get things done a little more often. I fold my mother's laundry since she hates doing it.

I'm in this weird little standstill at the moment, though. All on the same day, a bunch of important things for my cosplay came together -- three people I had been waiting on for items I couldn't find anywhere else wrote back to me!!! - and now I'm waiting for them to either be produced or shipped. I finally found the perfect shoes, but they're needing to be sent from China. I found a good tuxedo shirt, but it runs so small that the one I got didn't fit so we've been in the process of exchanging. I found the closest possible vest to Joker's but the man is taking his time to ship it out. The bow tie shop on Etsy somehow never received my first message but has now gotten all my information about a custom order and will start on it soon. I forked over $200 for a replica cane that will take 3-4 weeks.

So now I'm just waiting for all these awesome things to arrive in the mail, meanwhile struggling to figure out how to overcome the biggest problems with my cosplay: how I'm going to hide my hair, whether there's a quality and accurate wig I can purchase after all, and how I'm going to hide my eyebrows effectively. So far the way that I do it looks like crap in person. Liquid latex is on its way; I'm gonna try that soon. Also, I have a wig shop lead.

I must say, I feel weird focusing so intently on this with the year heading towards its final months, a time when I thought my second draft of HT would be finished. When glancing at Sierra Boggess' instagram, which I have neglected to keep up with, I also see that I could be using it as motivation right now, if only I had the drive and vision to keep writing. She has moved to Paris. She is learning French, learning the musical in French. The woman's fearless and has poured so much of her life into playing Christine, and now there she is soaking up the story in the language it was written, in the language the characters spoke it in. It's pretty cool.

Yeah... I don't know what to do. Maybe when I get home from school today I will go marinate in all her posts and try to find that special trigger that gets me back. It was her that started all the writing earlier this year: maybe she can do it for me again. ;)

But yes! School! I GO TO SCHOOL AGAIN NOW. Gotta blowdry my hair and get out of here!