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Lady Bow
22 June 2016 @ 09:37 am
Before I write more, should I also do a more explanatory post about myself for my new LJ friends? Is there anything you want to know? We're still acquaintances, so we have not really been commenting to each other :(, but hopefully once we're more familiar, we can start with that. I did a post to explain the journal a long time ago and haven't much touched it since: http://ladybows-fs.livejournal.com/292.html But yeah, if there's anything else, don't be hesitant to let me know! I swear I'm friendly! Weird, but friendly.
Lady Bow
16 June 2016 @ 10:52 pm
Would anyone be willing to let me know if my new layout looks okay on your screen and browser? I couldn't make up my mind how I wanted it to look so I frankensteined a bunch of layout features together in the css. (And I am not fluent in css! It's a bunch of headaches and copy-pasta for me!)
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Lady Bow
The following painting is pretty much all of my creativity this week. I'm not getting anywhere with anything else, only talking to myself on the couch, while I sip my coffee, about the hypothetical day I get back to work on He's There, and what I will do first, second, and third within a given time frame. The goal is to finish ch11 and ch12 and revise the plot of the third arc by the end of summer. Hopefully I will do more than that, but this is a plausible goal given my condition.

So... work-in-progress "Erik" as a senior:



What makes this so fun to explore might be the fact that I'm trying to use his physical body the best I can to explain what he's going through, and I'm painting him like a human being. Nearly all my artwork of him the past ten years, save for a couple depictions from the final chapters, have been portrayals through the lens of Lily's obsession and awe for him. Portrayals of him the way he would want to be portrayed: as a stranger, a superhuman, a silhouette, a living doll, a "predatory bird" as one friend said... a phantom. Every scar covered, his face clean shaven and powdered, his hair always black from root to tip, brushed seemingly "a hundred strokes". He's the kind of man with a lint roller in his glove compartment! The way that he appears in my story's time frame is so polished and deliberate that I've almost had no choice but to conform to this intention, his intention!, any time I draw him.

But here, in this painting, he has not become himself. The catalyst (that is Lily) has not dropped into his life quite yet, so he hasn't made himself fit for scrutiny, nor capable of allure. He hasn't the muscle to fill the suit, the means to transform himself, or even the nerve to write to her. He's just getting by, probably on and off antipsychotics, so half his days he feels like the walking dead, and he hates it. He feels invisible and insignificant. He has no idea where he's going after this. Graduation, which he won't even be able to participate in, is like a wall he can't see around. Still, he sometimes has grand visions about himself and fantasizes about retaliating, rising above, breaking every rule. It may seem that he takes on "the Phantom" as a way to woo the girl, but it's just as much about indulging his own frustration with himself.

I was thinking, with regards to his bruises from practicing parkour, that he probably will injure himself in much more critical ways the more danger he puts himself in. I could even see him face-planting into the concrete and scraping the skin off around his eyebrows (since he later has an eyebrow that won't entirely grow back.) Maybe having to heal from that around the same time that he started taking the idea of himself as "Erik" so seriously is partly why he started cutting his face. I still haven't worked that out.

* * *

On a muuuuuch lighter note, I had to take a break from that after recurring thoughts of ice cream cones and Hare's butt, so the hot weather inspired me to whip out this:


Lady Bow
28 May 2016 @ 04:17 pm
Before I leave for work, can I just say this?

I've been thinking about it the past couple days, and I'm not so sure I can picture "Erik" as a Goth kid in high school anymore. After what he has come to be in draft two, he'd have to have been somewhat of a, I don't know what word is best... those nerdy loner types that just seem a bit off, don't have any friends, can't hold a decent conversation, and are off doing their own thing. For "Erik", he had to have been obsessively studying music or he'd never be what he is when he confronts Lily. He probably still wore dark clothes, maybe some studs, but along with a clunky watch and reading glasses. He'd be ganglier than he is now -- still capable of kicking somebody's ass, but just getting going on the parkour stuff. He'd have bruises from it all over, I bet. XD Still trying to hide his cutting - I picture scars all over his chest, and I think that's where it started for him. Then, when he was out of school, he went completely overboard and started covering his arms. His face, well, I still haven't decided when he even considered that.

Anyway, yes, nerdy loner, passionately perusing the music section of the library but flunking his senior classes because who cares anymore. And of course, he'd have dark circles under his eyes because sleep is not a thing for him.
Lady Bow
Oy. I apologize for being away from LJ for so long (if anyone is reading.) The stuff with my car just got complicated enough that I didn't think about doing extra stuff like update my online journal? hahaha

It's still kind of complicated, but it's slowing down. I'm basically just looking for another car now, and hoping I don't wrack up the rental car price too severely since the other driver's insurance company, well, is trying to break their promise to reimburse after repeatedly promising such and encouraging me to get the rental. My mom is working on it since she's the policy holder and they weren't being straight with me. She's pissssssed. I try to remember that stress is an optional state of mind that will not alter how a problem is resolved. I read that somewhere and it just clicked. Besides, I have to pick a car I really believe in and like, you know? I can't be rushed. I'm so so so so SO lucky that the most I can be is pissed about paying for the rental, because a lot of people right now wouldn't have the finances for it. Ever since I switched positions at work, the money has continued to stack into my bank account, for whatever I end up needing it for.

But yes, it's been a lot of calling people and craigslisting and going out to car lots by myself when I'm not at work, and then in the mornings or sometimes afternoons I get myself to sit down and try to work on writing. I know that I can't afford to lose focus. Every single day I think about what's going on with the rewrite.

In fact, because of how often chapter 10 has been shifting, and how exciting these events are in terms of how they set the foundation for their codependency, and how adamant I am about getting it right, I'm even having semi-delirious DREAMS about it! I fall asleep with the laptop on my, well, lap and drift away, thinking I'm still writing it. I wake up in the morning having dreamed of a scene that had been interjected with car-related problems. "Erik" was having an important conversation with Lily and right in the middle of it, he was like "let's go sit in that '97 corolla Jennifer was looking at. She needs a second opinion about it." It seriously happened. XDDD

Um, anyway, yes, it's going very well. Some time in the next million years, it could be finished, but in the mean time it's going well at the slowest pace possible. I wrote a pretty creepy scene yesterday. I also switched a few things over to chapter 11, so without even getting to it yet, that chapter is plumping up and brimming with stuff I can flesh out and connect once CH10 is done.

Is there anything else worth mentioning? Nah... I'm not doing Script Frenzy this month. It's already been a quarter of a year. Sierra is cleansing all her crystals and posting it on instagram. lol That woman is pretty damn witchy - I was not expecting it! She could get along with Giry, that's for sure. Well, that'll do it.


Current Mood: thirstythirsty
Lady Bow
22 March 2016 @ 10:27 am
So last week I learned that having your car rear-ended would suck but also yield good things. My Allstate people were always available and patient with me. The repair shop holding my car made me feel at home while I was stranded there. The cop printing out my crash report assured me I wouldn't be liable and complimented my Little Mermaid lunchbox while I was sitting there blotting my tears. lmao My mom and half my coworkers have given me rides. Linda even gave me a ride at 8:30am on her day off and arrived in her car in polka-dot pajamas. *tchchchchch* I should probably bring donuts or cookies or something. (When I switch jobs I'm going to miss everyone. It's too bad they can't all come work with me somewhere else. lol)

Oh, the other great thing about it: I've got a fancy rental car that's covered by my insurance while my car is being assessed at the repair shop, but initially Enterprise was flaking on me, so my boss didn't schedule me for work for a few days so I wouldn't have to worry about getting to work, so I'm enjoying four days off in a row, which is all going towards writing and playing catch up with my March goals. I am NOT taking this for granted! In between all the adulting I've had to do, my eyes have been glued to the screen, fingers a'tappin!

I find it unlikely that in nine days I'll have all 12 chapters of draft two sitting around for feedback, but I'm just elated that the giant, confusing mess known as chapter 10 is actually making sense now, and only needs 3-4 more scenes before it's done. Chapters 11 and 12 actually already have a few pages because there were things I felt like writing ahead of time. It's unlikely, but it's actually not impossible to finish all this.

Once it's finished, I may take a break, I may not. The third arc (there are four arcs) also has plot notes, although most of that is just streamlining of material that's already in the first draft. This is the point in the story where the first draft mostly works, just isn't written very well or has some awkward stuff I could remove. If I recall, L & E also had a few meaningless conversations in the 30's chapters, which I could never imagine them having now that they're more developed.

Oh, and let us not forget the REWRITE of rewrites that must happen, once my editor's circle has criticism for draft two! oyyy! I actually began a third draft of chapter one the other day, on a whim, and I understood completely why R and A thought my presentation of events was too jumpy. The first few chapters don't have A Midsummer Night's Dream in it either, so I even just sent them to savoreachsense with Lily talking about Vivian and then suddenly switching to Mustardseed and digging for fairy wings with Mariam in the costume closet.

By the way, can I just say thank you, even if you're not reading this, Kate. ↑ Despite everything, she wanted to be one of the editors and said nice things that made me blush last night. If any of y'all have went through the (friends-locked) final chapters of draft one, she was there leaving awesome feedback.

Anyhoo! I have run out of Sierra material unfortunately, but I'm in love with Charles Dance again. I read more Leroux and always giggle at his description of Raoul, I discovered that Phantom on a Budget is on tumblr, and I might see about joining the Phandom, particularly the Leroux side of the Phandom. I can't relate to the solely ALW fanatics, or the Rierra nuts, or the Gerik children (I say children because they really are all stupid children who think Gerard Butler is legit), or the Susan Kay "nope, Erik was never abusive, Christine should have chose him" revisionists. Screw that noise. I want to be friends with adults whose heads aren't below the actual source material. Does that sound elitist of me? Oh well.

See ya!

Current Mood: optimisticoptimistic
Lady Bow
17 March 2016 @ 03:59 pm
Lady Bow
So I missed a periscope that Sierra did and went back to watch it (although, sadly, it is no longer available to watch again...), and besides being utterly struck by her beauty and the faux-intimacy of her looking into the camera of her phone, I agreed with her sentiment: when the fuck did it become March??! Oh my God, Hare's birthday is in six days. lol Really, though. When the fuck did March think it could just waltz in here?

Hehe, "Marchie". I sometimes imagine Hare's mom or maybe his child friends called him that, but if anyone called him that now it would be like someone calling Teller his birth name: Raymond. hahaha

I guess it's good that March started, since February sucked. Does that mean April is going to suck and May will be good?

Anyway, anyway, I had a marvelously questionable thought yesterday before conking out into another of my infamous, random 2-3 hour naps in the middle of the day. As I was stretching there in bed, admiring my cozy new pajama nickers, I realized that next month is Script Frenzy. Is there a chance, with all the writing ive been doing, that I could tackle it this year???! I'd just need to finish the main HT rewrites, which amount to about 2 chapters. One every 11 days..,..???????

I think that could only be possible if I don't get so confused with the stuff coming up. But I am a woman who is easily confused, so. :/

Has anyone else seen the video for TV they put up on the Phantom of the Opera fb page?

I just feel strange thinking James Barbour is hot as Erik, or that he kind of has a baby face since... Uhh, something that's probably been beaten like a dead horse but I guess I have to mention it anyway: he went to prison for sex crimes with a minor in 2008. *covers face* oyyyy.

But this.

But ew.

But this lil transformation vlog in which I'm sure he's doing the Dr. Evil pinky.

But still, ew.

Can I just mention that Thelma Pollard looked great in that too, though, and I think it's awesome she's done Phantom makeup for so long, and I hope she still loves the job, no matter what Norm and Sierra put her through. xDDD

Edit: I feel so gross for enjoying his videos now. I looked up the exact details of the crime he committed in 2001, and what happened is a 15-year-old fan came to visit him in his dressing room before final curtain call and he molested her, and then had oral sex with her in his apartment the following month (how did that end up happening? Did she actually choose to go there, knowing the risks?) Okay, ew. I can understand why people are outraged he was cast. Resisting urge to look him up again, but probably will anyway, not because I don't think what he's done is wrong, but because ugh. He does have a good voice. *covers mouth*
Current Mood: tiredtired
Lady Bow

There was that time they spent the night together and Lily fell asleep and thought "great, now I have to waste hours of his time while my body rejuvenates," but wakes up the next day and very recently he had casually laid next to her without gettin' too much in her space, but then HE FINALLY FELL ASLEEP TOO.

And when an insomniac sleeps, you're just like "aw... I couldn't bear to disrupt this."
Lady Bow
02 March 2016 @ 12:32 am
Can I just say that Sierra's Little Mermaid socks that she posted on instagram are adorable. I went to go check her page in between writing today, and had to get up and dance for a second, just thinking about how much I love her. I wish we could just cuddle all day in a king size bed, surrounded in pillows and blankets and stuffed lambs, and we'd watch Disney movies or something, and eat snacks and candy and share a bucket of Ben & Jerry's. Then we'd giggle and tell each other secrets. If only we could do this every week, and life would be marvelous. I would marry her, seriously. Unfortunately, she's not into my type. Judging by her ex-fiance, she's into masculine British guys with ass chins. :(

It's okay though... just knowing she exists is nice. When I think of shitty people who exist, I just think of Sierra afterward, who's like 10 awesome people beating 1 shitty person with a stick. A glittery rainbow stick.

Geez, you'd think I'm drunk right now, the way I'm typing.

Sorry, it's just I wrote today! And I was enjoying the material, coming back to it mentally! And I've realized just how much of this rewrite is coming together, and it's pretty cool. Plus I've been reading little bits of Phantom, and the story is funny to me a lot of the time. Christine was just telling Raoul how she's an honest woman who doesn't lock herself up in her dressing room with men's voices! Uh... sorry, dear, but you are locking yourself up with the dudiest of dudes.

Okay, you know what, I better stop writing. I don't know what the hell I'm thinking tonight. Should probably just go to bed.

Bye. XD

Current Mood: sillysilly